Inspired by the awesome I am constantly around I have started a blog. Here's a self reflective depressing thing I wrote a couple days ago.
Recently there have been a large number of thoughts in mind. Your typical teenage thoughts (college, life, agnst, how awesome Harry Potter is, etc.) I specifically have been thinking about my love for both the Harry Potter fandom and the Nerdfighter community. I feel strongly connected to both and yet not a huge participant.
I am 15(can have a permit in a month!) and struggle to attend events because of transportation. I feel guilty asking my parents to drive me to shows and conventions even though they're more than happy to. I also feel insecure and awkward when discussing where I'm going with them. It's ridiculous but I can't help it.
I live 20 minutes from LA! I should be going to events. But, alas...
I was not a part of the fandom when it was biggest a few years ago, and even though it's silly, I harbor fears of not being excepted, not fitting in, and not having friends.
I don't have many nerdifghter friends/HP friends. I have some but feel envious of those, who have thousands in their phones to be called at any minute.
I recently attended a Remus Lupins/JFF/Whompy concert, and although I loved it, I lacked a sense of belonging I assumed I would immediately get. I was afraid to talk to people, got star struck(such a nerd!), and generally felt a bit out of place.
So, this blog is a pathetic plea for friends, acknowledgement, and recognition. I mean, I do have this semi ridiculous idea that by writing it I'll become the next hayleyghoover. But I will sumarize everything by kicking myself and forcing myself to be out-going, attend events, and make friends.
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I suppose I should stop whining about my insecurities and introduce myself to you, my nonexistent blog readers.
Ummmm..
Age:15
Location: Long Beach, CA
I play piano.
I'm Jewish.
Anything else?
