Inspired by the awesome I am constantly around I have started a blog. Here's a self reflective depressing thing I wrote a couple days ago.
Recently there have been a large number of thoughts in mind. Your typical teenage thoughts (college, life, agnst, how awesome Harry Potter is, etc.) I specifically have been thinking about my love for both the Harry Potter fandom and the Nerdfighter community. I feel strongly connected to both and yet not a huge participant.
I am 15(can have a permit in a month!) and struggle to attend events because of transportation. I feel guilty asking my parents to drive me to shows and conventions even though they're more than happy to. I also feel insecure and awkward when discussing where I'm going with them. It's ridiculous but I can't help it.
I live 20 minutes from LA! I should be going to events. But, alas...
I was not a part of the fandom when it was biggest a few years ago, and even though it's silly, I harbor fears of not being excepted, not fitting in, and not having friends.
I don't have many nerdifghter friends/HP friends. I have some but feel envious of those, who have thousands in their phones to be called at any minute.
I recently attended a Remus Lupins/JFF/Whompy concert, and although I loved it, I lacked a sense of belonging I assumed I would immediately get. I was afraid to talk to people, got star struck(such a nerd!), and generally felt a bit out of place.
So, this blog is a pathetic plea for friends, acknowledgement, and recognition. I mean, I do have this semi ridiculous idea that by writing it I'll become the next hayleyghoover. But I will sumarize everything by kicking myself and forcing myself to be out-going, attend events, and make friends.
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I suppose I should stop whining about my insecurities and introduce myself to you, my nonexistent blog readers.
Ummmm..
Age:15
Location: Long Beach, CA
I play piano.
I'm Jewish.
Anything else?
Hi. :) I'm ashley, 14, and Christian. I've made a few comments on your blog, and so far i like it. I'm a nerdfighter, too, and i have (sort of) the same crazy thought that my blog might get famous, someday. Maybe we can follow each others blogs? (But don't feel pressed to follow mine if ya don't want to) Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your blog when you make some more posts!
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